Dealing with Conflicts in School: Advice from a Former Principal

Dealing with Conflicts in School: Advice from a Former Principal

If this happens, remain calm and professional; don’t let anger or resentment build up. Give reasons for your point of view—state the facts, not your opinions. In trying to defuse a situation, or to prevent an impasse, it may be helpful to include additional people in the conversation; to be constructive, you should also try to propose a solution to your disagreement. Don’t be dismissive of their ideas or values, and contemplate any cultural aspects that should be considered.

  • Ashley has taught college business courses and has a master’s degree in management.
  • This goes against what most people are taught regarding communication, body language, and eye contact.
  • By not dealing with the conflict, this style allows the conflict to simmer potentially resulting in angry or negative outbursts.
  • Your transparency about these types of issues reflects honesty and integrity that your employer should, without question, appreciate.
  • Even in digital communications, it’s easy to read a message and immediately forget about it.

Based on these questions, you can determine which of the following conflict management styles you want to assume for the situation at hand. We may negotiate with a professor to make up a missed assignment or with our friends to plan activities for the weekend. Negotiation in interpersonal conflict refers to the process of attempting to change or influence conditions within a relationship. The negotiation skills discussed next can be adapted to all types of relational contexts, from romantic partners to coworkers.

Do you understand the consequences?

People who respond to conflict this way often expect negative outcomes and find it difficult to trust the other person’s reaction. Continue to keep an eye on the situation and evaluate how How to Approach a Person Who Prefers Avoiding Conflicts well the solution is working. If the problem reappears it may be necessary to take further action. Make sure that everyone has the chance to explain their point of view and concerns.

How to Approach a Person Who Prefers Avoiding Conflicts

In addition to choosing your words carefully, do not underestimate the power of body language and tone. Often, it is not what is being said that propels conflict further, but how someone is saying it. Use open body language to signify your willingness to resolve the conflict and reach an agreement. People tend to mimic those around them, so this can help elicit a calm, open demeanor from anyone else in the conflict. “Listening is such an undervalued skill, and it can have a real impact on how often conflicts arise and how they can be avoided,” she said. “Not addressing the conflict until a later time allows resentments to simmer,” Nick Kamboj, CEO ofAston & James LLC told Business News Daily. To identify interests, ask questions to determine what the person believes he or she truly needs.

Design and Conflict: Do You Know Your Conflict Style?

Consider whether an organisational procedure for dispute resolution or mediation is needed. Think about whether there is something about the way the unit works that encourage this conflicting behaviour and if this can be ‘fixed’. If no progress is made, a period of reflection may help, but ultimately it may be necessary to bring in another manager or to consider external assistance from a specialist in mediation, ADR or arbitration. In these difficult cases, where complete consensus is impossible, you should aim for a way forward that is acceptable to all, even if it is not the preferred option for all parties involved.

  • If there are areas of disagreement, however, you may have to make concessions or compromise, which can be a partial win or a partial loss.
  • Rather than endlessly ruminate and allow conflicts to fester in your head, try taking a more assertive approach.
  • It is better to speak in “I” language, as opposed to “you” language to avoid the other person feeling attacked.
  • When you’re chasing a goal, the psychological distance between your current situation and your final destination influences your mindset and actions in the present.
  • The employees would have to choose between accepting the new changes, or quitting and relying on unemployment benefits until they find another job.
  • A lot of the research shows that conflict avoiders often come from homes where conflict was a bad thing.

Avoidance involves walking away and ignoring the conflict entirely, doing nothing that might be perceived as rocking the boat. Focus on specific issues without generalizing or escalating the situation. This style could be appropriate to use when it’s more important to reach a solution than for the solution to be great, a deadline is rapidly approaching, you’re at an impasse, or you need a temporary solution for the moment. The distinction between individualistic and collectivistic cultures is an important dimension across which all cultures vary. Identify areas of common ground or shared interests that you can work from to develop solutions.

Understanding Conflict Handling Styles

Your agenda can serve as a reference point in case the conversation starts to veer off course and into conflict. You can also announce some ground rules before getting into your meeting.

How to Approach a Person Who Prefers Avoiding Conflicts

Approach-avoidance is distinct from approach-approach, such that it occurs when a goal is both appealing and repulsive at the same time. Additionally, there is no separation of good and bad for the approach-avoidance and the individual encounters both consequences.

Approach-Approach Conflict Examples

If someone is purposely trying to annoy you, engaging them may lead to the situation getting out of hand. If you choose to ignore their rude or damaging behavior, most people become bored and leave you alone.

  • These two systems, termed promotion and prevention, each serve different survival-relevant concerns.
  • Support reps will ask customers if they tried following the recommended troubleshooting steps and customers, thinking the rep is being redundant, will say they have.
  • It is easier to deal with two things one likes than one thing that has attractive and repulsive aspects.
  • Of course, take time to assess other perspectives as well, if possible – what was the discussion about?
  • The context for and motivation behind accommodating play an important role in whether or not it is an appropriate strategy.

Team members who aren’t necessarily afraid to talk through conflict may nonetheless never have any demands of their own. Instead, they bend over backward to accommodate the other person’s demands and iron out the conflict. Compromise represents the only option that allows someone with this mindset to win, although settling on a compromise can still involve a power struggle.

Approach-Avoidance Conflict Definition

This frequently entails all parties sitting down together, discussing the conflict, and negotiating a solution together. The collaborating conflict management style is used when it is critical to maintain all parties’ relationships or when the solution itself will have a significant impact. Online counseling services, such as those provided by BetterHelp, have helped to make that possible. Remote therapy allows individuals to talk with qualified, licensed mental health professionals when and where it is most convenient, and often at a cheaper price.

Most people remember how you respond to a situation rather than what happened. While you often do not have control of many situations, you can choose how to respond to others to help reduce work conflict and stress. By responding appropriately to a conflict situation, you take responsibility for your actions. Refer to Understanding Conflict Handling Styles to discover the advantages and disadvantages for each style.

Direct conflict might not be your style, especially when the room is stacked against you. You might value making sure the situation is as safe as possible before you start asserting what you need. Maybe that means waiting until you’re out for coffee in a public place with someone, or only checking in with them once you’re home alone in your bedroom and can text them on your own terms. Just because you value keeping things the same, however, doesn’t mean you’re totally fixed in your opinions. Your friends might value your flexibility; you find it easy to see both sides of a disagreement, but you’d rather not voice your personal view on any given matter, should it sway heavily in one direction or another. You may need to give yourself some extra pep talks before you say you reaaally want to order pizza for your birthday, knowing it’s not your girlfriend’s favorite.

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